The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
