I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
