I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
