your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
