This is not my ceiling
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
