any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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