she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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