We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
