I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
