Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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