Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
