i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
