I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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