Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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