meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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