are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My pussy is not your playground.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I can't put those talents on a resume
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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