it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've blown a few things in my day
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
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I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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