So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
