This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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