his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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