I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
