yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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