New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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