omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
