Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
