there's paper in my vomit.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
