ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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