If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
