Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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