just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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