Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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