Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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