would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm bleeding and have questions
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
