Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
