yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
