i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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