why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
