dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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