ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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