I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
