This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
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Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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