make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
