I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
