im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
