does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
