She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
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