Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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