Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need to sanitize my soul.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
