im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dick very happy bro
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
