problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
