just come out here and I will go home with you...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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