on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
