I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize