Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
