Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
honey bunches of taint.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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