I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
