let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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