He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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