he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
