kristin has been a bad kristin
I am spending my child support on dildos
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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