I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we're making bets on your personal life
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
