puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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