i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
