ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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